Apart from the birth of a child which is usually heralded with ecstatic shouts and jubilation, the next biggest thing in the life of every person and the larger family, globally, is the wedding day. It is the dream day of every parent to witness the wedding of the daughter or son. It is also the most cherished dream day of every damsel to be adorned in a most gorgeous wedding apparel, standing hand in hand with the love of her life before a gushing gathering of families and friends, as main center of attraction and admiration, about to be joined together in marriage. It is that dream day where food and wine flow with abandon amidst concoctions of music and joyous laughter.
Why, then, would you be late to that long dreamed about wedding day as it is now becoming fashionable? Your own wedding day?
Few days ago, the cyber space went wild with the story of a Nigerian pastor of the pastor, Essa Ogorry of the Fulfilling-Word Foundation Church, Port-Harcourt, who cancelled a wedding because the would be couple arrived at the church FIVE minutes late. Millions of people were aghast at his alleged ruthlessness and thoughtlessness. The images of the distraught bride weeping profusely in her wedding gown inside the church premises while the would-be groom consoled her added to the more fury of the commenting bystanders.
But it turned out that the said would-be couple, days before the wedding day, had willingly signed a document assuring the church that they would not be late, and should that happen, authorizing the pastor to cancel the wedding. This is said to be the norm in that church.
It also turned out that the said couple were about ONE HOUR late, according to the pastor during a radio interview shortly after the unfortunate rumpus.
Reacting to barrages of verbal attacks against the pastor, a commentator would later respond, “Before you are quick to judge, you are not a member of the church and you do not know what happened. There was a consent form for time and the (both) intending couple signed in agreement. They arrived 43 minutes later and all the bride’s sisters could do was to insult the pastor for expressing his displeasure after he had earlier called them 5 times in the week to warn about the timing. Have you considered if the Pastor had a flight to catch up with after the said timing for the wedding? Have you also considered if the couple were to meet with the governor would they be late? Have you considered if the couple were to appear before a deity, would they be late? Why do we joke with the things of God and think of no consequence? Watch your mouth before you are judged for first throwing a stone. Just my simple advice”
What the world did not also know was that the pastor had left the hospital where he was receiving a treatment to attend the said wedding. The said pastor died few days after the wedding fiasco. Precisely one year after he lost his wife to cancer.
Nike Olugbode, a registered nurse with Massey Street Children’s Hospital Lagos Island, and ‘Seun Ige, lead strategist at G-Lite Global Consult and pastor of Ignite Church, Lagos, share their candid views on what may make an about to wed couple arrive late at their own church wedding:
Mrs. Nike Olugbodi lists the followings as factors that may contribute to a bride being late to her wedding:
1. Driver coming in late to pick her
2. Make-up artist being too slow
3. Lateness of main cameraman for the day for the planned shoots
4. Traffic on the way to the church
5. Bridal train taking too long to dress up.
Pastor ‘Seun Ige shares probable factors that delay to-be-married couples on their wedding day:
1. Improper planning: It’s often said that proper planning prevents poor performance. However, certain to-be-married couples get carried away by the euphoria and fantasy of their pre-conceived wedding atmosphere that they fail to realise that it doesn’t just happen automatically.
It takes intentionality to make things happen appropriately. Many to-be-married couples don’t check up to ascertain the progress level of decorators, events managers, caterers, availability of wedding materials, wears, presence of members of the bridal/groom’s train etc.
The truth is, time just runs indiscriminately as the hour scheduled gets closer; and sometimes almost uncontrollably. Therefore, long term projections and melancholic detailing does the job. Leave nothing to chance (including the state of the cars 🚘 to be used), and lateness to your own wedding event can be curtailed.
2. Procrastination: Some to-be-married couples unnecessarily push forward processes and preparations that they are required to tackle headlong and with almost alacrity. And as postulated, procrastination steals time. Before such people realize it, everything gets too much to sort within available time frame.
The creative solution to this is actively involving mentors and principled parents in the planning and weddings arrangements.
Personal determination to go all out to achieve every part of the wedding preparation process promptly (even if it takes setting multiple alarms) is important.
3. Lackadaisical attitude: Some to-be-married couples lackadaisically leave wedding preparations to the hands of parents, uncles/aunties, events planners, and/or friends. When this happens, some of them may not voice out their concerns, excuses and challenges. At other times, to-be-married couples only get to discover those ills on the wedding day.
The solution here would make me brandish a honest thought that “if the wedding day would be your BIG day as you claim, then it’s worth your full involvement and participation”.
Leave no stone unturned, let them term you whatever; but throw yourself at your list and work at it with hard work.
4. Impromptu approach: The two temperament types that have a weakness in resulting to fire brigade approach to anything are the sanguines and cholerics (the extroverts). They are always in a haste because they wouldn’t plan.
However, planners aren’t smarter, they simply just value time.
The solution to this is appointing or hiring a truest professional wedding event planner that would save your face from shame
5. Spiritual attack: Well, as faith leaders, we’ve seen and heard a lot. There are manipulations in the realm of the spirit that prove active against spiritually unconscious to-be married couples.
I saw a case sometimes ago, when the groom was picked in a milling shop 2hours after his scheduled start time. He was already dressed and couldn’t balance his move.
I advocate that Christian spouses waiting to be married must give themselves to Prayers, fasting, and study of the word. Friends and families must support in standing in the gap for them as well. This way, they can quench all the fiery darts of the wicked (Ephesians 6:16).