Ladies are often used as sex appeals in a bid to market products or services. When they advertise cars, they would use ladies; they would also use ladies when they want to advertise houses for sale. You come across musical videos, and you see some of the ladies almost nude, while the guys on the other hand are properly dressed, what an irony!
Advertisers just feel that, using ladies in the advertisement of their products or services will help boost patronage.
Even in our home videos, sex have also become a norm, they act it in movies trying to make people believe that it’s okay to have sex with a guy/lady you’re in a relationship with. But the fact that the world sells sex doesn’t necessarily rule out the fact that premarital sex is wrong. Sex is worth waiting for.
An adage says, ‘the food that you’ll eat, you don’t smell it’. Why rush to have sex with that lady when you have your entire lives to spend together? The fact that premarital sex is now an acceptable norm in the society, doesn’t make it right. Yes it’s acceptable in our society, but is it acceptable before God?
Having sex with a man you’re in a relationship with doesn’t increase the love he has for you, sex cheapens you. If the door to your private part isn’t shut, you’ve lost your value; people value what they don’t see, they devalue what they’ve seen.
You need to understand that sexual urge is not a sin, it’s falling into sexual sin that’s actually a sin.
Most of the challenges that actually occurs in marriages today started long before the couples even got married; and a root cause of these challenges is pre-marital sex. Premarital sexual relationships gives way to a whole compendium of complications.
Premarital sex causes the defilement of the marital bed and its foundation. When the foundation is defiled, you’ve only succeeded in giving the devil the opportunity to come into your home and cause a lot of havoc.
“Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whore mongers and adulterers God will judge.” Hebrews 13:4.
You can only experience fulfillment and honour in your marriage when the marital bed is undefiled; a marital relationship established on purity.
Premarital sex reduces the vigour and force that sustains a marriage, it carries an undermining potential that digs into the foundational fabric of the marriage. Marriages built on the wrong foundation of premarital sex is a faulty foundation and may not be able to stand the test of time.
A foundation that is destroyed lacks the capacity to hold up any building or construction. It is therefore no surprise that marriages built on such faulty foundations are not able to stand the test of time, and in this process, four cardinal pillars are undermined by the defilement.
The first pillar that is destroyed by premarital sex is the destruction of mutual love. Premarital sex have the capacity to turn love into hatred. However, a few relationships that are still able to stay together and eventually get married actually do so but not with the same intensity of love and affection they had before the premarital sex.
Secondly is the destruction of mutual respect. Each time people destroy the pillar of respect in the marital foundation, it is amazing how they tend to disrespect each other. The man looks down on the lady as being cheap as to allow him easily have access to her body.
On the other hand, the woman’s regard for the man diminishes or even dies because she sees that the young man does not have sufficient self-control to keep himself from defiling them both.
You remember the story of Amnon and Tamar in 2nd Samuel 13. Amnon claimed to love his sister Tamar to the point that he even fell sick of love, but as soon as he lay with her (forcefully, without her consent) his love turned into hatred. There’s always a thin line between love and hate.
Thirdly is the destruction of mutual trust. Trust is a strong belief in the reliability and truth of someone. When you trust someone, you trust anything he/she tells you without an evidence or any form of questioning. When you trust someone, you accept anything he/she tells you without questioning whether or not he/she is actually telling you the truth.
Trust is basically built on experience and knowledge. You trust a person because you know what he has done before or because of what he is capable of doing.
When a couple engages in premarital sex, the pillar of trust is often tampered with or even destroyed because the man or the woman has experienced the fact that the other party could have an immoral relationship with him/her while they were still unmarried.
This makes it easy to equally believe that the partner can readily do the same with anybody else to whom he/she isn’t married to. If he can have sex with you when you’re not yet married, what gives you the guarantee that he won’t have sex with someone else when you’re married and maybe you traveled out of town and he’s left all alone at home?
As a lady, you need to bear in mind that while you are engaged to him, you are simply another girl in the crowd only that he may be much more interested in you and is about to make a commitment to marry you.
Technically, nothing actually differentiates you from any other girl to whom he is not yet married to. So when such a young man has premarital sex with you, you easily believe that he can have extramarital sex with any other person he is not married to and vice versa.
Premarital sex breeds suspicion. When the woman goes to the market, he easily imagines that she could have gone to spend the time with a boyfriend, every simple thing she does raises his suspicion.
Finally is the harvest of extra marital affairs. The fourth pillar that is destroyed when couples engage in premarital sex is self-control, the lack of which could lead to extra marital affairs, don’t forget that you always reap what you sow. Do you expect to sow premarital sex and reap fulfillment and bliss in marriage?
Though there are others, but for the sake of this article, I’ve decided to discuss these four pillars that are destroyed as a result of premarital sex.
The negative consequences of premarital sex far outweighs the pleasures of a few minutes of uncontrolled passions. And I pray for every single reading this right now that you will not fall victim. But if you’re already married and you’re reading this material, and you’ve already laid a wrong foundation, there is no need to fret because all hope is not lost.
God can still heal your home and give you a new start, He can also wipe away the negative consequences in your home and make your home heaven