Opinion

SINGLE, YET FULFILLED

faithful

I remember when I was still in the university. As I got to my final year, people began to ask, “so when are you getting married?” I wasn’t really surprised or taken aback, because I’ve actually come to realise that we live in a society where so much importance is attached to marriage, a society where people hold tenaciously to the belief that once a lady is done with school or National Youth Service, then the next step for her to take should be marriage.

In this part of the world, people tend to view marriage as a “do-or-die” affair. They believe a lady is “incomplete’ when she’s unmarried. Please, do not get me wrong. I’m am not insinuating that it’s actually wrong to be married, what I’m against is putting your life on a halt, on a standstill simply because that “special” person is yet to come propose to you.

In fact, marriage is very good and blissful when it is done appropriately. However, life is not all about marriage.

I want you to change that mindset. That myopic idea that you’re not complete or fulfilled until you are married.

woman in worship

You can be single and yet very happy and fulfilled.

Live your life making impact and affecting thousands of lives. Live your life with the sole aim of fulfilling your destiny, that colourful destiny that your creator have created you to fulfil. You were created to fill a vacuum, are you doing that? Start thinking beyond marriage and see your destiny. Marriage should not be a woman’s ultimate, it should not be all that you live for. Strive for something greater, yearn for more. Strive to pursue your destiny and when your life pleases your creator, everything else will fall into its rightful place (even marriage). A truly good woman is a wife before she’s married. There’s within her the unique gift of nurturing that which makes her exemplary indeed.

Get familiar with your future now that you’re still single. The future you don’t picture, you cannot feature in it. Come to the reality that your future is too colourful to allow just any man to ride into glorious future with you.

A woman without vision will also get married to a man without vision and vice versa. Choose the people you relate with wisely, you must know who travel with you as you journey through life. Choose your spouse wisely, do not let anyone force an unwanted relationship on you. Love is a choice and relationship is also a choice, so choose carefully and wisely.

Your single life is not a time to allow anybody take undue advantage of you and contaminate your life. Do not relate with people who do not add value to your life. Do not make your life a garbage bin where anybody can come in and go out as he/she pleases. Singleness period is not a time to waste on frivolities and riotous lifestyle, it’s a time to make impact. What value do you have to add to the man you’ll marry? How can you make his life better? Will your presence in his life increase him or decrease him? Will your presence in his life increase his spiritual life, or will it rather diminish his spiritual life? Marriage have taken a lot of people to hell. It is possible they would have made it to heaven if they were never married.

Financial stability should never be the only means of provision. Ladies, if a man cannot provide for you spiritually, he is broke. Marry a man who will help build you up.

While you are single, if you fail to spend adequate time finding wholeness and mastering the art of being happy and fulfilled alone, you will marry out of fear and then years later, awaken out of the comatose state of low self-esteem, only to recognise that you’re a valuable entity whether there is a man around or not.

You must use your singleness period to establish your own identity. Try as much as possible to establish some solidarity financially, mentally, intellectually and above all spiritually. Then when and if you add the harmonious thrust of male counterparts, he is enriched by your contribution and you by his, without being a weight that he carries until he is exhausted. The main goal is ultimately a state of wholeness. That wholeness cannot be reached if you are not separated from your past and prepared for your future.

The onus lies solely on you to make productive use of your singleness period to build up yourself in every sphere. Because you can only be single just ones in your entire lifetime. Don’t put your life on hold because you’re unmarried. No man is attracted to a problem except a problem solver. When you are not so thirsty for love, you can make better decisions.

A wise woman does not seek advancement from men. She knows that her economic strength is not dependent on marrying the right. Nor does she have to spend her entire life chasing riches. She seeks only the presence of God, and He then gives her all the things she desires (even a spouse).woman in worship

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