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COMPONENTS OF TRUE LOVE

John 13:34-35 – ‎1 Corinthians 13:4 – 13:8 – ‎1 Corinthians 13:1 – 13:13

To be truly and genuinely in love, a lot of things have to be in place, if these things are not in place, then it’s either you are not in love or maybe you’re just simply deceiving yourself. Here are some of the components of true love:

1. Purity: The issue of purity, virginity and chastity seem to have been thrown down the drain in recent times. You hear youths say, afterall, it’s the 21st century, so anything goes. Pre marital sex is now
viewed as a normal aspect of a relationship. Co-habiting is also very rampant in our society today. Young people, not married, come together and co-habit, ‘living like husband and wife.’ When you co-habit
with a man before marriage, living like couple, ‘YOU’ the container becomes of no value to him again and hence he can discard you easily.

True love is pure; purity is the hallmark of true love. There’s no iota of iniquity in it. If you’re in a relationship at the moment and you’re indulging  in pre-marital sex, then I’m sorry to say to you that what you have isn’t true love but lust. True love encourages purity and a high sense of discipline. Above all, true love obeys God. If purity is lacking in that relationship of yours, then it’s not true love, it doesn’t matter how you feel about it.

2. Truth: If you’re in a relationship and you find it somewhat difficult to tell the whole truth to your partner, what that means is that you are not in true love. Truth is one of the basic foundation of true love and any relationship not built on truth is lust not true love. If you’ve been in a relationship and you then find out that your partner has actually been telling you lies, it’s a pointer to the fact that he/she does not truly love you.

3. Commitment: True love involves a high level of commitment of the body, soul and spirit; it gives everything into the relationship. A committed man/woman in a relationship writes letter, send emails,
sends text messages, make phone calls, give gifts and also pay visits. He/she is moved by the plight of their partners and they also look forward to seeing each other. A committed partner is ready for
reconciliation whenever there’s a misunderstanding; they are deeply committed to each other and to the success of the relationship.

4. Sacrifice: True love doesn’t just stop at commitment, but it goes a step further to make sacrifice; true love is willing and ready to go the extra mile. True love is highly sacrificial.

5. Submission: True love have no iota of pride; it’s willing to submit completely and wholeheartedly to the wish of the other party. As a lady, when you are in respect and absolute submission to your partner,
then it becomes automatic and easy for him to love you. The way you feel inside about yourself and the way you feel about people around you will always reflect in the way you speak. One of the greatest
undoing of many young ladies, is an over-exaggerated opinion of self and over-estimation of self.

6. Giving: True love gives; it’s not stingy and self-centred. True love places emphasis on giving, ‘what can I give you’? Infatuation and lust on the other hand places emphasis on receiving, ‘what can I get from you’? If you’re going out with a man/woman simply because of what you stand to benefit from him/her, then you’re not in love.

7. Fondness: If you’re not fond of the person you claim you love, if you’re not willing to flaunt/show off your partner to your friends, family members and colleagues, then you’re not in love.

8. Peace: Are you restless because you’re in love? Have you lost your peace simply because you claim you’re in love? Has fear, guilt, uncertainty, doubt, regret or worry enveloped you simply because
you’re deeply in love? Then it’s not God’s kind of love, because God is not an author of confusion but of peace. If truly that love is true and pure, you’ll experience calmness even in the midst of a storm;
even when your parents or friends think otherwise, you’ll be calm because you’re certain your love is true.

9. Respect: If the man you claim to love have no respect for you, he treats you like trash and even embarrasses you publicly, it only shows you’re merely deceiving yourself and wasting your time. There is great honour in love; true love respects and will not want to hurt the feelings of his/her partner.

10. Service: True love seeks to serve and not to be served; it’s ready to go the extra mile to serve the other party, lust and infatuation want to be served. Until you learn to serve others, you’re not set to be married. You must be willing to serve with excitement and enthusiasm. Until you learn to be on the giving side in service, you don’t expect to receive service.

Many ladies go into marriage relationships with the mindset that their husbands will serve them, religiously calculating what their husbands would do for them. Expecting him to serve her; go into the kitchen with her and do things for her. But they have never thought about what they are going to contribute to the man’s life. True love thinks about how to make positive contributions to your partner’s life.

11. Faithfulness: True love is faithful to the core. You can’t say you’re in love with somebody and still have ‘Spare Tyre’ somewhere. A man that is keeping two of you together at the same time and telling
you that you are the one he actually loves and that he is just deceiving other ladies is in reality deceiving you instead, true love is always faithful.

There’s no other road to a good home than the way of love, than the way of purity, no other route to a blissful marriage than the path of true love. It takes love to ‘weld’ two distinct people from different
backgrounds together. Never marry somebody you don’t love, someone who you don’t share similar religious beliefs with. A man that does not love you will ‘lord’ over you tomorrow. A lady that is not in love with you may become a source of worry and fear to you.

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